adriansvettlana

So,  mere days days before my birthday this horrible movie is going to be played in a theatre near you.

Armageddon???  Appocalypse?  WOW.

Pass the popcorn,

Ok, the morning went like this.  I had the babies last night, so I slept in the livingroom with them.  Paul slept in our bedroom, all by himself.  I missed him like crazy!  So, throughout the night, Provo would come up to me, stare me right in the face and sit right next to me as I was taking care of the twins.  Well, several times this morning, he ran out of the house into the front yard and into the back yard.  That was no problem, he seemed to be on a mission to get out of the house for some reason. 

So, Paul, Julie and I are outside talking in the WoodShop, and Provo came outside and started roaming around the yard.  Well, Paul left to go to the wood store, and Julie and I came inside.  Everyone forgot all about Provo being outside. 

So, Paul comes back home from the store, goes outside to the woodshop, and finds all the dogs licking Provo as he lay there under the tree by the water dish.

He goes over to check to see what the matter was, and there was Provo...  DEAD.

Not a mark on him, and no mangle marks, but it just seemed like he wanted to go outside to meet the Goddess.

Paul is beside himself and I don't know what to say.  That is two cats this month.  I hate death.

INTIMACY

I love that word!  When I make a new friend, all I want to do is love them and hug them and squeeze them to death with all the love and adoration I have in my heart.

Last night was one of the most intimate nights I have ever had with my friends.

MASSAGE

A connection of souls  - one seeking relief and the other seeking to provide release....

FRIENDS

I wish I could let them into my mind so they could feel the depths of the love I have for them...

LOVE

My reason for living!

Ok, for those of you that don't know....  my love has asked to make it official. 

We have asked our dear friend and heart Miss V to permit us the honor of sharing our vows in her back yard. 

So, how does the day after October's event sound for everyone??? 

I am also thinking about the Friday after Thanksgiving, November 27???

So, Miss V, much depends on what thoughts you have.... 

Praytell my love, please expound.....

Love,

P

I am soooooo excited to have guests at my house this weekend!  I am going to be hostessing my gracious Knight and her hubby, and also Caspain and His intended, Georgellen.  It is going to be a great weekend.

I was hoping that we could get over to the J& M Fabrics on Monday before they depart.  It will be a great day to say the least.  Paul and I went over there yesterday while we were out running errands.  I found a beautiful linen for $3 a yard.  I also found a whole host of other fabrics, but I need my knight to tell me what is period and what is not.  She is a great judge of material.

So, while I didn't buy anything yesterday, I did get fabric samples to show Georgellen for her wedding dress.

Paul found a ton of canvas opportunities, and I am looking forward to making pavillions with some of the new fabric canvas.

On a really tight budget right now, so I can't go too crazy at the fabric store.  But it was sure fun to look, touch and dream.

I am hoping that when my knight comes over, we can research medieval recipes and maybe make something period while she is here.  Boy!  That mushroom pie she made last weekend took a tournament WIN!  And it was yum yum yuuuummmmmy !

Well, back to the grindstone, have a ton of work that simply must get done today.

My sweet little Taz Man passed away in his sleep this morning.  When I checked on him last night, he was curled up in a ball, all comfy and cozy, but this morning, ......  well, I guess the Goddess needed him more. 

I will miss that little guy soooooo much.  He was a sweet little man kitty.  He was almost 5 years old. 

RIP my sweet little man.

Went to Paul's house up north for the bigger part of this week.  However, I had mucho trabajo to do, so I did manage to get the number one thing done on my list, which was to get the SBA 8a Certification Re-Application submitted to the SBA office in San Francisco.  Now the future of my little company is in the hands of the SBA gods, and should providence prevail, I will be lucky enough to be granted Small Disadvantaged Business status.  I even re-ran the cash flow projection and took it out to 24 months for the update to my business plan.  I hope the SBA can see that sans this SDB status, I won't be able to realize the growth I have projected in my bp.

What does that status mean to my little company?  Well, it is the difference between being able to compete with the larger Federal Government Contractors and not.  All I need is a more level playing field, and once I get the ball, I will run with it!  Translation:  Basically, a rather large contract is pending this status, and I am keeping my fingers crossed.  Even the economic stimulus money is being earmarked for business who are either located in a HUB zone, or are SBA 8a Certified.  The business has occupied most of my waking moments.  I eat, drink, and sleep based on the results of this business.  I should be focused on my new relationship, and all my new Adria friends, but when I get back to Mondays, and my mundane life, all I do is work.

I am happiest during the week while I am gainfully employed at something productive.  Ok, I know that sentence needs work, but I am not the most grammatically correct issuer of the spoken English word.  When I am asleep, I dream about work. 

I think I need a hobby or something.... 

Now onto the next post....

the last time I stayed up all night was working with my business partner to finish a 1.3m proposal.  Stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it then drove 1.5 hours to Paul's house...  Needless to say, I actually admitted to being tired....  Paul thought I was crazy.

This day must be productive.

List of things to do today:

1.  Get SBA 8a Re-application sent to San Francisco.
2.  Work on Grant applications for the city.
3.  Pay attention to Paul when he comes in from the garage.
4.  Search out three proposal opportunities for possible work.
5.  Apply for a real job.
6.  Take meds... 

This is a real problem for me, because I just don't do taking meds very well.  All my life I have been a horse, healthy and sane.  Now, as I approach the end of my 40's, I have to take a med for my thyroid and a med for my sanity and a med for my cholesterol.  Yikes!  I am going to fall apart, I just know it.

On the lighter side of things, I did FINALLY take the happy pill med for the sanity thing yesterday.  Paul noticed a complete difference in my whole attitude.  I guess lately, I have been a total b**** to him, you know, being short, demanding, and downright tacky.  I can't believe I let myself treat him that way. 

You would think that after 22 years of being single, and doing everything on my own,  now, finally meeting a wonderful man , I would do my darndest to treat him nice.  Well, after almost a year of being together...  Yep, from the first day we met.....  I would realize that I must simply treasure this man or I will end up losing him like I have lost all the other important men in my life.  Note to self:  Paul simply must be treasured.  Take happy pill.  Life will be a lot nicer for everyone around me.

Still having problems with my Son and my daughter.  Ever since I stopped raining $100 bills on them, their whole attitude toward me has changed.  I just can't give away everything each month.  There has to be a happy medium.  I have to be able to keep a little for me and Paul.  Son thinks answer is to get married and move away to Vegas.  I think he is making the right decision.  Angie is a wonderful lady and I am soooo proud to call her daughter in law.  My son is a very lucky man.  My daughter is tickled that Angie asked her to be maid of honor...  I am soooo proud of Joey and Julie....  it is just hard watching them grow up.

Paul and I are seriously talking about the land up in the mountains.  Well, if everything works out, and the SBA 8a certification comes through, we may be able to make it all happen.  Keep fingers crossed for this.

Gee, I never realized how wonderful it is to have a person who is a true partner around to help me realize some dreams.  And to help me create new ones.

My favorite memory of being a youngster was when I was about 9 or 10 - and lived by the river in Bakersfield..  Oildale to be precise...  yes, you guessed it, I am an Oildale River Rat, and darned proud of it.

However, the best memories I have are of being down by the river, wading and playing with my big Sister Charlene, (Goddess rest her soul) and my little big sister, Tinkerbell.  The best times were down by the river...  crawdadding, swimming, and just being a kid. 

Geez, can I be a kid again??????

I spend my life, trying desperately to please those who I care about and who I wish will remain closer to me...  I have been accused of trying tooo hard and doing too much...

I just want those who are around me to have sunshine and roses if possible.... 

We have enough rain in our lives....

Love is nothing unless it is shared...

Let me share my love with you....  it brings joy to this life of mine....  where joy has not been a constant companion....

When I share with you, when I am able to do for you,, or when I can just be there with you....  By being with you, the cement of my sanity is greatly reinforced.... 

.

I am looking for Maeve, and Marydonna.